- UZIMON Invades Toronto, Canada!!
Go to UzivsFord.com for more information
- New Flims!!
New freestyle video feat. Ja Anna on melodica!
UZIMON drops some limericks live!
- KNOWLEDGE COLLEGE
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by UZIMON
TOP TEN DANCEHALL CLASSICSABOUT PUM PUM OF ALL TIME
1. GOOD HOLE COLLEGE - Red Dragon
"A timeless Classik pan a rehash of Real Rock Riddim. Red Dragon espouts the importance of higher education and gets his social message across onetime. Gal dem must learn what dem pussy is fa!. How dem expect fi climb corporate ladders if dem nah know the muscle grip techinique? Good Hole College to di werld!
2. BUM FLICK - Little Lenny
"Bum Flick pan mi dick young gal come skin out ya!" - Few things inna life compare to having a big fat bum flicked at ya buddy. Little Lenny encapsulates di essence of bum skin on foreskin with such a subtle touch it meks angels cry. CLASSIC, ALL FRUITS RIPE RIDDIM! "Tear a shed, but she still want it..." Lickle Lenny a RULE slackness!3. LOVE PUNANNY BAD - Shabba
Shabba puts the punanny on a pedestal wid dis one. Punanny a narcotic stronger that smack. "Punanny fi mek you happy, Punanny fi mek you sad". A bare truer philosophical insight never spoken.
4. GIMME PUNANNY - Admiral Bailey
Another chune about the harsh realities of punanny addiction. large up to Admiral Bailey for being honest about his crippling dependency on pum pum. You can tell him wan di pum pum baaaaaaad. Punanny Riddim Original! "Coolie Punanny, Chinee Punanny, Blackie Punanny, Whitey Punanny" - Like Star Trek, Admiral Bailey bruk down racial barriers wid dis classic dat mek even mi Granny jump out a wheelchair and bawl, "Gimme Punanny!"
5. MUSCLE GRIP - Shabba Ranks
Classic chune about the most important move a skettle can learn fi mek her punannny feel like cris brand new pum pum once again so dat grindsman get di agony. Muscle grip to di werld. Tight hole a di foundation of a strong family.6. CRAB LOUSE - Red Fox
This chune never got its full due. Fox a murda di riddim and spit a cautionary tail about not getting lice inna ya pubes dem. Creepy Crawly Critters will nyam ya buddy and mek it well chaifed and red. Gal dem will reject you with predjudice. Gunshot pan Crab Louse. Also features a cris sample from "Spill The Wine" - by War. (pure UZIMON knowledge).7. TIGHTEST PUNANNY - Gappy Ranks
Massive chune, pan remake of the Punanny riddim (Tsunami Riddim) A beautiful ode to the perfect punanny and Gappy paints a picture of a very tight hole, simply by using di power of affirmation, by repetition.
8. UNDER THE SEA - Sebastian The Crab
Everywun knows this chune from Disney's the lickle Mermaid is really a metaphor for pussy and pussyclots. Sebastian the crab is a crab louse and he is trying to get Ariel the Mermaid infected with crabs on her fish pussy. Don't tek it from me. Everybody knows Walt Disney is a pervert and a fish pedophile. Massive chune though still.
9. PUNNY PRINTER - Pan Head
Wicked chune pan the Bam Bam/Murder She Wrote Riddim. Batty Riders, Pum Pum shorts, and Punny Printers were all di rage amongst schoolgirls and geriatrics alike inna di dance back inna di 90s. Punny Printers were di best because dem printed the outlined of the camel toe most visably. Fashionable Punani a mek wood stand up!!!!
10. PUNANNY TEGEREG - Little Lenny
Little Lenny Deh pan the di list AGAIN! One a di classikest punanny chune of all time, on the irrepresible Shocking Vibes Label!. and WTF is a Tegereg you may ask? Imagine a punanny is abusive and loud, and also a punnany. that mi friend is a PUNANNY TEGEREG!! "Pum Pum nani nani would a kill me dead!"
- Uzi took to the stage with a renewed sense of energy
- "The reggaelutionary sounded better than ever with his full NYC reggae band in a tight and polished performance. He certainly appeared to have a renewed sense of energy alongside them, much to the glee of his growing band of local fans." - Sarah Lagan [Read More...]
- Live Show Intro
Check dis live video from my album release show!
- Mobtown Ska Sounds Showdown with UZIMON (Podcast Interview)
"This is a reggae takeover by the man named Uzimon. Calling from his secret bunker in Brooklyn New York, I set up an exclusive interview to promote his latest album “SHOWDOWN” available on ChannelTubes, ITUNES, Amazon, and all other media outlets. He was gracious enough to share some new tunes, talk about the reggaelution, and explain the similarities between John Lennon and himself. I have never seen a reggae performer quite like Uzimon channeling the classic djs like Yellowman, Toyan, and Snow. Check out the episode and dig deep into the roots of reggae with DJ Bobby Babylon on every episode of Mobtown Ska Sounds." - Bobby Babylon
- WICKED REVIEW!
Check this WICKED REVIEW of mi NEW RECORD!
"CHEEEEEET! Its like angels are pissing inna mi ears! UZIMON'S 3rd record, "SHOWDOWN" a SELL OFF!!! MAaaaaaaaaaad! Choirs of Terrapins a sing!!!!!
That was mi first thought upon hearin mi new record. I went on to think...
Dis is basically what the Beatles wanted 2 make when dem made that "Sargent Pepperoni's Homely Arts Club Fan" album. It's what N.W.A had in mind when dem made "Straight outta Bill Compton" , and what Cream atempted with "Israeli Queers". BUT DEM ALL A FLOP LIKE FLIP FLOPS, UZIMON SAY SO!
Dis is def a step inna new direction fi UZIMON. Him a blend universal themes like falling in love with Colombian prostitutes, being a Jedi, having weekend trysts at Chucky Cheese with your number 3 girlfriend on the side, possessing the sexual prowness to masturbate for an entire day, and course, shooting literal bullets out of his mouth. Stuff we can all relate 2 as humans being in the 21st century. Di age of technology! Email, neon lights, mini-disc players and pagers. UZIMON struggles to keep him humanity in a ever-changing werld. This album will also make any woman's Uterus tremble like san andreas and bust like ripe fruit inna di oven.
And di music on dis record is pretty much better than anything else anyone ever made. Mi say dat with complete unpredjudiceness.
with murda-cris production by Producer Brett Tubin, and beautiful work by Steve Capecci, the musician-icality of dis album is by far better than most tings in life. Guest work by other artists like Ticklah, who called me up wun day and seh "hey UZIMON I'm really sick of making meaningful albums with the Sierra Leone Refugee all stars, and playing with Eryka Badu and playing with Antibalas and Amy Winehouse and being a Dap-King, its all reminding me too much that I have a career I can look back on in pride, so can I please pretty pretty please play keys on your record and obliterate my hard earned reputation?"….Mi said, alright. Cool. I will allow you to learn from me. I am di best".
So, in short, mi new record is di best one u ever heard. buy mi new record when it come out. Sign up on di mail list at uzimon.com for updates. And listen to di sample of "Colombian Daughta" I just put up.
Inna di meatime, here are some quotes from reviews by other lesser known critics:
"Pure FIYAH! UZIMON A RULE DANCEHALL!" - Leonard Maltin
"Bway shut ya mouth! UNU fi never know UZIMON! Him a run tings from long time wey back when! When Leonard Maltin was just a lickle pickney! Nah pose off like unu fi know! Disrespect mi gwine lick two shot off inna yu face!" - Roger Ebert
"EEE? MI murda ya bumbahole!" (gunshots ring out) - Leonard Maltin
"aaaaaah! unu fi shot mi inna di rass! tek a lick a mi M-16!" (rapid gunfire) - Roger Ebert
(Both man fi dead. Arguing over who like UZIMON more. Senseless. Stop di violence.)
Yours Truly,
UZIMON
- Uzimon's Showdown album will 'make the critics weep'
- "Can we expect the same Uzimon we all know — shameless ignorance and crudity?"
No but you can expect the Uzimon everyone else knows — honest, intellectual, deep, compassionate, sensual, romantic and professional. Professional artist, professional lover.
