- A OPEN LETTER to UZIMON. (By UZIMON)
I hope dis letter finds you where you are at the moment. I really hope that as you read this letter you are also writing it, for I am doing the same. A wise man once said no matter where you go, there you are, and I think that is fuckery, precisely because it is so true sometimes all of the time. (mostly not always never) As you read this letter, as I write it, it becomes more and more clear that there is no way you can write it faster than I can read it. So let us write and read as one, as we once were and always have been, never to not be not. (Mostly always, not never)
I am writing us this open letter, not just because an "open letter" can make someone who is irrelvant instantly relevant again for an instantly relevant second before after the readers read, and then the person who wrote it is irrelevant, but because open letters were very relevant last month and we should always be on the cutting edge of relevance, because way more important than writing a good melody or having a wicked original bassline or trying to make people leave their troubles behind and all that fuckery, is to focus on relevance first and foremost. How do we do that? First, stop working on lyrics, stop trying to further develop your skills and take the long road, because someone who develops skills over time is irrelevant. You need to be focusing on things like putting pics of saurkraut and titties and someone else's 83 Chevy Impala on instagram like all the other relevant people, tweeting that you just went to Crossfit or Underwater Pre-Natal Soul Cycle and ending with a hashtag no one else uses like #boomtheprogram or #canIgetawhatwhat. You need to be figuring out what is current and relevant and then copying exactly that because orginality and doing what you enjoy just to make yourself happy have no relevent relevance. Sometimes I wonder if you wonder if I wonder whether we really want to be happy instead of be relevant in a world where relevance has so much relevance for a second! What di bloodclaat fuck?!
Don't you see? Can't you read? Are you still writing this? Ok, good. Let's keep it relevant. Write mi back an open letter to yourself and we'll go from there.